Voices of Love

One of my primary reasons for choosing to come to live at Kendal at Granville was the fact that I had come to know the reputation of Kendal communities for the quality of care. As a nurse who had taught geriatrics I had high expectations when I arrived. Now almost six years later I can say that I have not been disappointed. Largely this is due to what I think of as the many voices of love which exemplify the manner in which the underlying Quaker value of respect for others is shown here.


If anyone doubts that love still exists I would invite them to visit here and observe carefully the many ways in which love abounds. I not only see it and hear it in many ways every day, but I feel it as well. It is evident in the common ordinary actions of both staff and residents


It may be in the careful manner a young caregiver feeds a patient who needs help with eating. Often it's seen as a therapist walks slowly alongside a resident recovering from knee surgery. I felt it when the therapists turned some of our required exercises into games thus making them less tedious. Many times it is evident in the words of encouragement which keep us motivated when the going is rough. Other times I have detected it in the voice of one of our young aides coaxing a patient out of bed when they are reluctant to get up for needed exercise


I've observed it in the simple act of a friend nightly taking a cookie to a an old college buddy who is no longer able to come to the dining room for meals and staying with him for a brief visit. I've seen it reflected by a friend offering to shop for another resident who didn't feel quite up to par. Often it's demonstrated by a spouse pushing his/her life partner in a wheelchair so they can be together for activities


It can be heard in the voice of one resident reading to a another resident whose vision no longer allows her to read for herself. Or overheard when a husband or wife patiently explains once more what's offered on the menu when a spouse can't quite remember what's just been said.


It may be heard in the sound of familiar melodies being played on the piano after dinner by a talented residents willing to share her talent. One night as I went down the hall towards the mailboxes to get my mail I met first one person singing and then another humming the melody they had just heard in the lobby on their way back to their respective apartments having caught the spirit of that same music.

In the summer it may be evidenced by an able bodied resident going outside to pick a bouquet of flowers thus bringing inside a bit of the outside for a less able person. One person quietly shows her love for people by doing mending and alterations without accepting anything for her time and effort except a simple thank you.


Yes, this is a place full of love and loving deeds done quietly without fanfare - the kind of love that makes the world truly a better place to live - especially our world here at Kendal.

WELCOME DIVERSITY

The following quotation comes from Kendal's Values and Practices Booklet: "Kendal strives to create and support an environment for community members, board, staff, and volunteers that is welcoming to all cultures, backgrounds, and differences. Our commitment to diversity flows from Kendal's Quaker roots. We believe that a spirit of inclusion and culture of diversity enrich and strengthen our communities, people, and services."

Our Kendal at Granville is diverse in that we come from all over the United States, Europe, and Australia. However, we are all white and mostly Christian in culture if not religion. I remember at one of our membership meetings someone asked our director why we couldn't just be happy the way we are. The late Dr. Sylvester said that our lives would be so much richer in may ways, that we would learn from each other and have fuller and more interesting lives. Most of us agree that it is healthy and enriching but what do we do when we live in a homogeneous community like Granville, Ohio?

Three years ago Kendal Corporation asked that each community have a committee devoted to diversity and inclusion. Our Granville committee, made up of staff and residents, started meeting in April, 2008. The first few meetings resulted in this mission statement: The mission of the Diversity Committee is to assist in building community that celebrates and draws from the cultures, backgrounds and experiences of all Kendal residents and staff. We will work together to invite a diverse population and encourage inclusiveness among all community members."
So we planned speakers and events that expanded our knowledge and understanding.

So now, in December we celebrate Hanukka with the ceremonial lighting of the candles at sundown on each of the Hanukka nights. We do this in the lobby which has a big Christmas Tree and manger scenes as well as a Kwanza display. This coming holiday season we plan to learn more about Kwanza and properly celebrate this event. The other days we celebrate are Cinco de Mayo and International Day. We even celebrated the Chinese New Year with egg dishes and Chinese Lanterns. Black History Month, February, was celebrated with exciting African Dance brought to us by an African American Professor and his students from Denison's Dance Department. We plan to observe Gay Pride Month by having a couple come to speak to us who were welcomed as the first gay couple at another Kendal Community. Last fall a professor from Yemen talked to us about the experiences of Muslim families in America. Dr. Shiels, a Professor of Indian American Studies at OSU has made us aware of Indian Mounds near us and introduced us to Native Americans living in the area.

These programs have been very well attended and the comments afterward tell us we need to keep doing what we are doing. We did complete a Diversity Climate Survey, given to us by Kendal Corporation. The response indicated that most people, not all, are in agreement with Kendal's philosophy in this endeavor. So we will continue these interesting programs and enjoy as we learn.

College Kids at Kendal

Last Saturday afternoon Kendal was the site of a sparkling inter-generational confab, as a dozen or so eighteen-and-nineteen-year-olds joined an even larger number of residents, all of them easily half a century older than their young guests, in swapping good thoughts and happy memories. The exchange was a magnificent demonstration of Kendal’s grand fortune in being located so close to Denison University.

Here’s the background to the event. A Philosophy professor at Denison named Audrey – we’ll all go by first names in this entry – offered a freshman course this semester on the philosophy of aging. The major writing assignment asked students to interview senior citizens about their views and philosophies of life. Perhaps half of the students used their grandparents as subjects, but the rest, not having access to grandparents, were linked with Kendal residents. The interviews that followed were based upon a broad outline of questions prepared by the students. Basically they involved asking each senior to talk about his or her life. Last Saturday’s session was a celebration of the success of the project, the course, and the organizing idea that lay behind it.

We began by arranging the seats in the room into a big circle. Audrey then asked us all to introduce ourselves, explaining that the students might use their self-selected class names. Many did precisely that, and in that way the residents came to know such students as Ace, Kimpossible, Tiresias, Touchdown, and Trey. Audrey herself was Wondergirl. By the end of the introductions the residents were all wishing that they could be back in college, with teachers as imaginative as Wondergirl was.

In the ensuing discussion, energized by cookies and punctuated by laughter and applause, residents were encouraged to relate off-beat tales about themselves, and we wound up learning all sorts of interesting facts about one another. In his youth, for example, John commandeered a steamroller as a prank. Marie had once been the oldest student in a nursing Master’s program in the country. Cy interrogated North Korean prisoners. Larry once sang the alto part of the Brahms Requiem while standing next to a “ten-foot” tall singer (we gladly tolerated a bit of hyperbole on this festive occasion). Margaret’s grandmother barely escaped an abduction at the hands of a mounted Apache brave.

It is a well-attested truth that senior citizens enjoy associating with busy and bright young people. (I have to note that I find using these various age-group-specifying terms to be a bit awkward.) We are cheered, inspired and heartened by such encounters. They remind us of our own yesteryears, of course, but they also give us grounds for being optimistic about the future of our country and of humankind, and they reinforce the truth of one of the great lessons of life: that even as many things in the world about us are changing, many of the most important elements of life endure. On this occasion we were also warmed by the many assurances from the students that our participation in the project and the friendships that had emerged from the interviews had been instructive and – at least in some instances – deeply important to the students.

Two final quotes are worth noting.

When asked what important lessons of life the residents might give the students, John offered the following: “Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.”

When asked whether she had enjoyed her participation in the project, Larry responded with a question of her own: “Who wouldn’t like talking about yourself for a full hour?”

I agree with both remarks. Our thanks go out to Wondergirl and her terrific students.